#4 Freedonia
The village of Freedonia appeared between two hills that hadn’t had anything between them the day before. Klaus and Ole might have found this suspicious, had they not immediately smelled something wonderful coming from a bakery window: a fish pie so golden that Ole made a small sound he would later deny.
They went in. Obviously.
The pie was perfect. The cider cold in exactly the right way. By the time they finished, a small round cat appeared at their table wearing a badge that said ARBITER and the smile of someone who finds everything wonderful, including bad news.
“Now,” she said. “You have to prove you’re free.”
“The Grand Unbothered Mind Examination,” she continued, before they could speak. “All visitors do it. Pass and the meal is free. Fail —” she slid a bill across the table that made Ole’s eyes water — “full price.” She made a tick. “You just failed Round One.”
“Eating the pie was Round One?”
“The smell came from a pipe aimed at the street. The cider was set by us. The chairs are our best work.” She smiled warmly. “None of that was your choice.”
“Fine,” said Ole. “We’ll do something completely random.”
He put a napkin on his head. Klaus walked backwards. Ole said “pringle” for no reason.
“Mad,” said the Arbiter. “Not free. A dice isn’t free either — it just has no opinion.” She went to water a plant.
“What if,” said Klaus, “we do what’s actually good for us instead of just what we feel like?”
They called her back.
“I’m going for a walk,” said Klaus firmly. “My legs need it. That’s my real choice.”
The Arbiter pointed to the wall beside the door. There hung a large poster of a cat hiking through golden hills, looking radiant and extremely healthy. It said: WALKING. GOOD FOR THE SOUL. Klaus had walked past it on the way in.
“Whose idea of good is that?” she said quietly.
Klaus stared at the poster. The cat on it smiled back with the smile of someone paid to smile.
It was, he found, quite hard to say.
“We can’t get rid of all of it,” said Ole. “The things pushing us. They’re everywhere.”
“No,” said Klaus. “But we can look at them.” He paused. “I want the walk. I know the street is arranged. But I’ve thought about it and it still seems right to me. That’s the best I can do.”
The Arbiter produced two cards: PROBABLY FREE (PROVISIONAL).
“Probably?” said Ole.
“Freedom isn’t something you finish.” She stamped his card again, which changed nothing. Then she slid a new bill across — half the original — and beside it, two bowls of cloudberry ice cream.
“On the house,” she said. “You were half free. Honestly quite good for a first visit.”
Klaus looked at the ice cream. He knew it had been chosen to look exactly irresistible. He thought about that for a moment.
Then he picked up his spoon.
It was the best ice cream he’d ever had.